Social Flexibility

Odd thing to be thankful for? Nahhh. Here's the thing: I went to a Christmas party with my Stepmom tonight. It was with her HOUR office and, though I know most of the ladies who work there, we're not especially close. And I admit, I was in a fairly foul mood upon leaving the house. I didn't feel pretty, I was down, and I sure as heck wasn't in the mood to hang out with a bunch of adults.

But ohhhh, silly me. I had a wonderful time. To start, the food was wonderful. And although I was the only person my age there, I was able to wander around the lovely house and chat with many of the adults, whether they were thirty-somethings with their 3 and 5 year old kids, or with the fiftie-somethings, watching the kids and grandkids in happy distance. The people were all lovely and I quite enjoyed simply watching them interract.

I also got a rather desperate phone call from a friend that I needed to take. Although I was worried about excusing myself from conversation and acting rudely, I knew I needed to get back to her. Once I called her back, I sat in the backyard under a little roofed area and talked with her til she had calmed down and we had set up a time to hang out. All the while, I got to listen to the rain as it varied between soft and hard droplets.

The phone call may have lasted 45 minutes and taken a very different mindset, but I was happy to have been able to help and then go right back into the party and talk to a father about his 2 year old who was about to crash and burn for the day. (The kid was adorable, by the way. His hair was determinedly unruly and his dad had thus nicknamed him the Rooster. I liked it :) )

So tonight, I'm thankful for the ability to be flexible, even when I enter a situation with a bad outlook. I sometimes forget how much peace this flexibility gives me.

Days Off

I had another today. I got to sleep in until 10 (10!!) and then lounged about as I slowly got chores done. I've been doing a master cleaning of my room and today I not only picked up the mess around my bed and floor and do my laundry, I started in on my closet. Oddly enough, it was cleaner than expected. But since I took many breaks on facebook to chat with friends and an hour to watch Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, I got little done around the rest of my room :P

I'll tackle more the rest of this weekend, along with my bathroom (whih really isn't bad), and then get ready for my trip to VA. Still gott finish up a BUNCH of presents and pack and whatnot. And I'd like to finish the cleaning of my room before I head off for a week. But we'll see. It'd be nice to get another paintingdone too, but I think I'll have to wait until I return to do that. Or maybe take my paints and colored pencils with me :)

So, today, I thankful to have had the day to myself. Even though I could have done more, I'm glad that I didn't have to for once. Relaxation, when needed, is beautiful :)

Visual Art

Posted late for Thursday, December 19th
Well I totally forgot to post last night, but I have a pretty valid reason. In my head at least.

I spent most of yesterday lounging and doing pretty much nothing. (That's not the excuse for not posting, I promise.) It was my first complete day off of EVERYTHING- school, work, church, etc- in a month. And it was glorious, to say the least. So although I spent most of the day doing noting and stocking up on my rest, I spent the last 6 hours of my day working on art.

I have numerous plans for art projects, things that have already been started, things that were finished but need touching up, and things I have yet to start. The list never ends, hence my tattoo. I am "l'artiste joyeuse". The joyous artist. So anyway, I finally started one project last night that I came up with at least six months ago. It's going to be a series of portraits of the people who are most dear to me. Although the first went differently than expected, I'm happy with it.

It took about an hour and a half to do the outline from a picture I have, then I started in on the colored pencil, which has been my medium of choice for years. However, now that I'm becoming more comfortable with paint, I crave more rich colors that colored pencil can't quite give me. So, what I do is work on the drawing, do the colored pencil, and then move to watercolor. I was very pleased with my shading. Where normally, I would start with a base of skin color, I instead pulled out my greens, blues, and purples and everything in between with work on shadows. Although you wouldn't think it, without those colors, the depth just isn't there. So after I finished all the shadow on the portrait, I took the skin colors and did a thin layer over all of it, thus making the shadows just a little bit darker as well.

At that point, it was already about 10:00, so I pulled out my cheap watercolors- like the ones you use in elementary school? And I worked. I finished everything at about 11:30 and went straight to bed. It's not perfect, but art never is. It's looks just like my friend, and I captured the eyes just right, which is normally my struggle. Although I didn't get the laugh that I initially envisioned, this works just as well and shows their heart and kindness. I may add a background later, but for now, this will do.

L'artiste joyeuse is pleased with her work and is thankful for the ability to bring her friends to life, in a sense, even when they are thousands of miles away. To draw, color, and paint in each line and shape and color brings them so much closer than I can describe. Art is a life in and of itself.

Musical Memory

Today has been a good day for many reasons. I'd like to list a few of them, just so I don't forget, and then get on with the topic of tonights blog. So, first, although I was running late, and traffic was horrendous, I somehow made it to school with 30 minutes to spare. And my Music Theory final was not only easy, but FUN! You know you're in the right major when you enjoy taking your final.

Then I went to choir, got to hang out with a bunch of cool choir kids as my last class of the quarter, and then AND THEN, head back home to get my tattoo with a friend. Though it did hurt, it wasn't terrible and I LOVE it! :) and to finish my good day, GLEE Fall finale was tonight and it was great!

So onto the focus of tonight: music memory. It may not be like olfactory, but memory connected to music is so unreal and wonderful. Today in choir, after turning in all our music and working out some business, we got to get a glimpse of our music for next quarter. I like all the pieces, but was especially excited when I saw one: 'My Soul's Been Anchored in the Lord' by Moses Hogan!

You see, I've done this song at least once before in high school and thinking of it brought back so many good memories. Even though East Bay Singers were struggling through sightreading it, I couldn't help but be giddy as I half heard my peers, and half heard my best friends back home singing it with me two years ago. I got many strange, slightly annoyed looks from my choir mates that I was excited and not struggling with the song like they were, but it didn't matter.

So today, although there are many things to be thankful of, I am thankful for the trigger that music is and the opportunity to relive those joyful wonderful days simply by singing a song.

Poetry

At times it's hard to say
What passes each long day
From mind to mind
And thought to thought
So instead I write
In rhyme and not

In verse.

I do love a journal
And a book to hide
In a nook
Of my heart for the
Deepest wrought
Emotions;

However,
At times I find,
Without the rhyme
Or rhythm
Of living in song
And dance,
My words are
Half-assed, at best.

So I write in rhyme
Until the time
When said rhymes are
Lame.

I revert to my book,
My journal and nook,
And compose once again
The free lyrical game
Of proper
English grammar.

Which, on second thought,
Isn't free at all.

So with my little jokes
And attempts at little pokes
Of fun at the language I love,
I give thanks for words,
For rhythn and curves
Which allow me to dance
With my thoughts
And better express them
To you.

Seasons

We rarely get them in California. I mean, there's wet. And dry. Aaaaaand that's about it. And really, in the past few years, we haven't even been getting a rainy season, thank you drought.

This doesn't stand well with Colleen.

I love me some seasons. I love fall with colors and crisp air and the feeling of new beginnings. I love winter with it's bitter cold and bundled jackets and scarves and strawberry hats. I love Spring with it's cherry blossoms and pink-petaled snow. I love Summer even with it's dorwning muggy heat and taditions. I miss the seasons.

But today, California pulled a surprise on me! I was doing my usual drive to school and was listening to Christmas music as I was gazing at the clouds (and cars ahead, don't worry). Then as I looked, I was thinking to myself "those don't look like rain...clouds, they look like..." and as my brow furrowed and my attention turned to the ground and hills zipping past me, I gasped and yelped-

"SNOOOOW!!!"

It NEVER snows here! Well, I mean, apparantly it does. But seriously! I believe the last time it snowed at such a low elevation was about 20 year ago. So...before I was born. Hah. Luckily, what was coming down as I was driving was just barely slush, much closer to rain, but there was snow on the hills and I couldn't help but be giddy and happy.

I, of course, called my best friend (on bluetooth) and left her quite the hilarious voicemail of excitement and giggles. She's used to my outbursts, thankfully.

So thanks, California and Northern Storm Surge! You made my day :)

Bugs

That's right, folks. I'm thankful for bugs tonight. Why, you ask? Is it because I love their delicate little intricate patterns? Or because they help support life on our planet? Or because I'm just so fascinated by them in general?

HECK NO, TECHNO.

In fact, I tend to HATE their little guts!

However...
it is because of this that I'm thankful tonight. You see, I have some wonderfully embarrassing video footage of myself provided by Roast and Toast videos my Senior Year and really excellent timing. While being filmed by one of the youth leaders, Larry, a HUGE and seriously, I mean HUGE bug fly right by my head, and of course, as following my norm, I freaked out, swatted all around and yelped a few octaves higher than my normal soprano range.

On film.

Needless to say, that made the video that was shown at my Roast and Toast and I can tell you with full confidence that I have NEVER heard my church laugh that loud or hard. Priceless.

So, with this in mind, and my many other memories associated with those evil little things that I hate so much, and equally funny stories because of it, I had a moment tonight.

It started innocent. It always does. I was simply walking from the youth room to the sanctuary with the youth group I help with, minding my own human business. But ohhh no. Bugs couldn't do the same, could they? As we get into the sanctuary, one of the Sr. Highers came up behind me and said, nonchalantly:

"Oh, hey! Colleen's got a cricket on her back!"

*insert running around, yelps, laughter and a new youth group getting to experience my fear of bugs*

They eventually got it off, but I didn't have the luxury of making it out of California without a bug incident. Alas.

So why am I thankful for bugs tonight? Happy, paranoid memories, my friends. Because as much as I hate them, they make for some fantastic stories and bring back fond memories of home. And who couldn't be thankful for that?

Choir

Posted late for Saturday, December 5th

I know there have been a lot of posts about music, but that's how it's going to be. I'm a music major. :) That being said, though, this one shall be short.

Saturday was my first choir concert in a year and a half. It wasn't the same as they were in high school. It wasn't as fun, it wasn't nearly as joyful. However, the music was glorious. We sang Bach's Cantata 191 for Christmas and Dona Nobis Pacem, both from his B minor Mass, and Pärt's Magnificat.

It was so good to be a part of such an ensemble again. Even though I know my performance drops a little when I do this, I couldn't help but relax every once in a while during our songs and just listen to the music we were making. It was so beautiful, and it really didn't seem that hard. And before my choir was up, I got to sit in the band room and hang out with some of the girls in my ensemble. We giggled and chatted about music, both good and bad, future plans, and just girly stuff all around. It was simply fun and comfortable :)

I know I have high expectations for music and choir. I can't help not. But on Saturday night, I truly was thankful for my choir and the opportunity to be a part of something so high quality and fulfilling. On Saturday night, I was very thankful for my choir :)

Performance

Posted late for Friday, December 4th

Sorry about the delay- the past two days have been insane, ending with me getting home around 10:30 and crashing before an early morning. SO here are my late posts :)

Friday was another hard day. I lost something very dear to me and desperately fought fierce tears once I realized it was gone. Although I'm afraid I'm going regret stuffing that later, I can at least say that one thing did calm me down later that evening.

After returning from errands with a friend (during which time I realized it was gone), I was still very upset. I excused myself with the need to go for a run, despite wearing clogs to school that day. I took off into the mid-thirty degree weather of the Hayward hills and ran. And I ran and ran until I was crying and panting. And my shoes weren't staying on. Brilliant plan to fight sadness with endorphins failed. So after about fifteen minutes on my own in the dark outside, crying, I had to go back in for my rehearsal.

It took about twenty minutes, but as I stood on the risers with my choir as started to sing my heart out with the orchestra below, I began to feel better. I found that the more I sang and the more I melted into the music, the less and less I could think about anything else. I literally lost myself in the music to the point that there was nothing but me and the notes and rhythms and dynamics. And in those minutes and hours of rehearsing, I was so thankful for my love of music and performance.

In those hours I became the songs and my performance helped me be a character. In that night, I was thankful for the distraction and beauty of performance.

Care Packages

I got one in the mail today :) It made me smile REALLY big and totally made my day even more wonderful than it had already been. It was from my Youth Group back home in Virignia. It was mostly filled with candy, but there were also about four little notecards, some hot chocolate mix, and a little packet of Starbucks Via, which I thought was a cute touch for me, hehehe.

Although some people think it's odd or weird to send a care package to someone in my situation, I shrug that off. Yes, I live at home with my parents. However, my other home is back in Virignia. Back at my church, back with my friends. But especially my church. Although the box was small and filled with lots of sugary treats that I could easily pick up here, to look at that would completely miss the point.

The care package is meant to remind you, meant to encourage you. My little beautiful box was a hello from my other family back East. It was a reminder that I'm in their prayers and that they miss me. It was a loving note from my freshman buddy, a giddy note from one of my other confirmation loves who's now a fellow choir nerd; in essence, a box of love in note and candy form.

So thank you, HUMC, for not forgetting me. You are in my thoughts and prayers daily and I can't stress how much I miss you all. I send my love and hugs and will be home soon! ♥

Encouraging Teachers

I know that I mentioned Dr. James the other night, but as I approach the end of Fall Quarter of my Sophomore year, I wanted to acknowledge some of the wonderful professors and instructors I've had this quarter.

First off is Dr. Eros, my Theory and Sightsinging professor. I'll admit, at the beginning of the quarter I was not a fan of him. Why? Because I was struggling. Because,f or the first time in my life, I was failing a subject. But he didn't let my tears and frustrations win. He worked with me and gave me tips and hints until it started to make sense. He showed me other ways to look at that darned Circle of Fifths and memorzation techinques for tonics, dominants, and triads. And eventually, I got it. Even though I was tough on him, he was kind and patient, and I'm so thankful for that.

Next is Professor Weber, my Piano instructor. She is so wonderful. Every morning, right at 8:10, she shows up with her little file folder and straw-brimmed hat, smiling and laughing, ready to help me with my not-so-graceful fingers. Even though I'm not one of the best students and I can't seem to remember that the bass note is a B rather than C in the 7th measure, she just keeps smiling and laughing and telling me I'm doing a good job. For her smiles and cheer, I am thankful.

Next is my Ballet instructor, Anne-Lise. At first, I didn't like her class much either. She was hard and the subject was trying- there are so many things to be thinking about, just concerning barre technique! "Is my butt tucked under, are my hips square, are my shoulders relaxed, yet strong, is my turnout correct?" And then there was the across the floor jumbles where I had to think about combinations and memorization, not to mention actually SMILING, for goodness sake. ;) But under all of that, my own struggle in the class: judgement. The constant questions like "Am I thin enough? Did my hair look okay? Why couldn't my arms be like Gina's? I wish I could dance like Katherine, etc, etc" But through all my tired days and sad days and joyful, bubbly days, she was there too. She was smiling and laughing, just like Professor Weber, and would hand out compliments when deserved. I truly feel like I've grown as a person by taking that class and having her supporting and graceful arm there to support, even from a distance.

Finally, my Taekwondo instructor, Mr. Miranda. I had him Spring Quarter for Self-Defense, and loved it so much that my friend Adrienne and I signed up for this class together. She's been my partner (at five foot and proud), while I "tower" above her at five foot, five. Let me tell you though, she's small but mighty. And Mr. Miranda put up with the two of us and our gigglings for two quarters straight. He even added to them! I'd be singing some song and he'd either join in or start saying the words to another. He'd give us jokes and metaphors like "Keep you EYE on the BURGER!". He'd point me out as the dancer when we started doing half and full turns and could see me spotting. He didn't mind mine and Adrienne's constant chatter or girly exclamations because he just accepted us as that way, yet saw that we were hard working and valued the class. His class was one I rarely dreaded, and only missed once due to sickness. I'll miss his classes next quarter as they don't fit in my schedule, but I'll be sure to stop by when I'm free. The best instructors have a way of keeping their "kids" around :)

There are a few instructors not mentioned from this quarter for various reasons. Some, I still don't know well, others I know so incredibly well that they deserve (and will recieve) their own post in due time. As for now, I bid this quarter and my last full day of classes adieu! And tonight I will sleep well, knowing I have been taught well. Thank you, to all my Professors, you are all inspirations!

Christmas Music

I love it. Seriously. How can you not? I mean, I guess I could see reasons, but STILL. It's so wonderfully cheery and happy and YAY. I woke up this morning to the same version of "Sleigh Ride" as my high school choirs always did at the Winter Concert, which got me to a good start. My shift at work was a long one- 8.5 hours, with fairly early breaks, and CRAZY busy for the first 5 hours. I was on bar (making the lattes, etc) for all of my shift but about an hour, sooo needless to say, I was exhausted. But then I got to go home!

And as I waited for one of my dearest friends to come over, I turned on my Christmas music, turned it waaay up since I was the only one home, and rocked out. Yes. I rocked out to Christmas music. It was awesome. And then when she arrived, and was blue and weepy, I just told her upfront:

"I love you, but I'm not going to let you be sad today. I'm in a good mood and am determined to make you get into one, too. Let's listen to Christmas music."

Or something like that.

And ya know what? It worked. :)

(Fitting post for December 1? Hehehe)